Feedback Thoughts

Michael Scott Feedback Meme

Personally, I've never had an issue with feedback. I think for the most part I enjoy giving it and receiving it. For instance, I am a very open book and am drawn to deep conversations with anyone. I'm not afraid to share emotions I feel in the depths of my heart or discuss difficult topics with someone. I think in all of my friendships I give and receive plenty of feedback and I think I'm fairly good at accepting "constructive criticism". 

However, I understand that feedback isn't everyone's favourite thing. I think though, that it is all in the way you word it as the articles we read have stated. The first article, "5 Tips For Taking Feedback Like A Champ" I really liked the point they made about growth areas. If someone points out an area in your life where you are maybe slacking a bit- don't let it discourage you, let it empower you to do better, to try harder to achieve your goals. I am guilty of having a fixed mindset, where I don't try when I am challenged but this is an area where I need to push myself to grow into someone with a growth mindset! 

I love almost anything to do with Psychology so the second article was super interesting to me! In "Why Rejection Hurts So Much- And What To Do About It", I learned that evolutionary psychologists think that the sting of rejection stems from the days when we were hunters and gatherers. Back then you simple could not survive on your own, so if you were exiled (or rejected by your group) it was a death sentence. That same feeling we feel today when someone rejects us, is just a part of who we are. I found that idea very intriguing, and I never would have thought about that on my own!!

I liked how in "Prescence Not Praise: How To Cultivate a Healthy Relationship with Achievement" the point was made that when a child is praised all the time they think they don't have to try as hard anymore. Praising a child for difficult tasks like sharing and saying "thank you" is good, and pushes them to do better. But if you praise a child constantly they have no incentive to try harder to achieve goals set by their parents! I thought this was a really good point and I know a lot of parents who praise their children for anything and everything. I am sure I am guilty of it too. But just to be there and support the child and comment on a picture they're drawing is enough to encourage them to keep going. We don't have to shower them with praise 24/7!

In the last article "The Difference Between Praise That Promotes Narcissism vs. Healthy Self-Esteem", I learned that focusing on the fact that a child "worked really hard" to achieve something rather than is "very smart" is extremely important. The point was made that if you praise a child for being smart, when they fail they will just assume they're stupid. Now if you praise them for their hard work, the next time they fail they will know they just must work harder! This really puts feedback into perspective for me. Simply watching how you word your praise is so important to facilitate the correct response! 

Story: Jessie Marie & Robert Gerald O'Leary

(Personal Image of Jessie Marie)

It was July 18th, 1931 in Arkansas. Jessie lived here with her mother, father and two sisters. She was 16, beautiful, tall, with short brown hair framing her face. She was never one to get all dolled up like her sisters because she would rather be outside playing some sort of sport with the boys who lived close by. They all knew her, and secretly all loved her but she wasn't interested in them in that way. Jessie spent most of her days riding her pony, Dolly, her daddy got her a few years back. She had raised her from a filly and they had a bond like nothing anyone had ever seen. Jessie would lie on her back, feet dangling on either side of Dolly reading a book nearly every day. This was her escape from everything else and where she felt the most at peace. 

One evening Jessie took Dolly out for a ride at dusk. She never rode with a saddle, always bareback because it felt more free that way- to both Jessie and Dolly. They took off through the pasture, Jessie twisting her hands in Dolly's mane and squeezing her legs around her torso to ensure she didn't fall off, they moved as one. Her hair was rising and falling with the movement of Dolly's legs across the earth. Usually Jessie could predict Dolly's every move but tonight Dolly had something else in mind. Their pasture was surrounded by a thick forrest- with barbed wire around their land to keep in Dolly and keep out anything else (most of the time). As they ran towards the fence, Jessie was leaning to the left of Dolly preparing for the turn they always made at the end. But Dolly wasn't slowing. Once Jessie realized what was about to happen she wrapped her arms around Dolly's neck and braced for the jump. Dolly almost cleared the fence but caught her left back foot on the top wire, sending Jessie flying and hitting her head on a rock. She rubbed the back of her head and sat up dizzily, nothing was broken as far as she could tell. She looked around to find Dolly a little ways in the distance clearly spooked. Dolly limped over to Jessie and she placed her hand on her nose to comfort her, running it from her muzzle to her forehead and back again. Dolly let out a sigh and Jessie said "There, there girl, it's okay. Everything's gonna be alright." She walked around to Dolly's side to look at her foot. Her fur right above her hoof was stained red from blood but from what Jessie could tell the cut wasn't too deep. Dolly still refused to put pressure on her foot though. Jessie would have to lead her home, so they began to walk towards the gate to get back into their pasture. The sun had just sunk behind the trees and the silver moon began to light their way. She knew that at a walking speed it would take them at least ten minutes to reach home, she didn't want to push Dolly to go faster though- so they took their time. 

She heard something brushing through the grass behind them and turned to look, nothing. They kept walking, Jessie wasn't worried because she always carried her knife with her... just in case. A little bit later she heard the noise again and this time Dolly's ears shot up and she held her head high- alert. This is when she saw something off in the distance, four wolves. Typically they would have run by now so they must be desperately hungry. Jessie tried to hop on Dolly but she couldn't support her weight. Surely the wolves would just give up... right? To her right she heard another noise, the sound of hooves beating the ground. A young man road through on a black horse scaring the wolves back into the forrest. He road up to Jessie and asked "Are you okay miss?" To which she replied "Yes, we were actually doing just fine. And who might you be? Daddy wouldn't like a strange young man trespassing on his land." As he dismounted his horse he said "Oh of course, I am sorry- my name is Robert Gerald O'Leary." He stuck out his hand to shake Jessie's, "Ah nice to meet you, Robert- what exactly are you doing here?" "I just moved here a week ago from California actually, I live just up the road and was going for a ride when I noticed those wolves tormenting you and your girl, is everything alright?" "California huh? Didn't know ya'll even rode there. And yes, she will be alright- the fool jumped the barbed wire and didn't clear it... sometimes she's a little overconfident." He smiled, "I wonder where she gets that from? Do you ladies need us to walk you back home? You know, just to make sure you don't get eaten or anything." Jessie laughed, "I have grown up here my entire life, I would have been perfectly fine without your help. I have the knife my daddy gave me and I know how to use it." His eyes widened, "Oh so you planned to fight off a pack of wolves with just a knife?" She stared at him confidently, "Yes. And I'm sure I could fight you off with a knife just as well."

***

The next morning Jessie woke with a headache and ran out to check on Dolly's ankle. And there he was. The boy from the night before... standing with her father? "Jessie, come meet Robert! I figured since I'm getting old, he could help out around here a bit. He just moved in right up the street."Jessie smiled, "Yes daddy, I actually met him last night." Robert boasted, "I saved her from a pack of hungry wolves, sir!" Jessie shook her head, but couldn't deny that twinge of something stirring in her gut. His green eyes caught hers- blue, as she tried to hide her smile. "Guess I'll be seeing you quite often, Jessie." he said as he shook her hand, for the second time.

Authors note:

After reading the story about Sita and Rama I wanted to write a love story. Well I always wanna write a love story. This is kinda a stretch but it's actually combined with a true story. My great grandmother's (we called her Big Granny) name was Jessie Marie. In her old age she would retell stories over and over but I didn't mind at all. One story was of a man named Robert Gerald O'Leary who was her boyfriend for a brief time in high school. She told me that every day at school he would do her homework for her, and about how smart he was. Unfortunately he married someone else and went off to war and my grandmother never saw him again before she passed. But she definitely never forgot him after all those years. I felt like it would be neat to write a story using her and him because she clearly felt some intense emotions for him (much like Sita and Rama) to be still telling their story nearly 90 years later. Dolly, was actually my Granny's pony (Jessie's daughter) because I am actually not sure what the name of my great grandmothers pony was! At the end I had Jessie's father hire Robert to relate it to how Sita's father challenge Rama to shoot the bow and arrow in order to have her hand in marriage. Hope you enjoyed it!

Bibliography:

Narayan's Ramayana, link to Reading Guide A.

Reading Notes: The Ramayana Part A

(Sita and Rama)

So far I have really enjoyed the Ramayana. I love how it is embellished with details, the imagery is beautiful and the action elements of the book really grab my attention.

As I have stated before, I am a sucker for love so I am sure you all know what story caught my eye (and tugged on my heartstrings) the most. Sita and Rama, so cute. I love how they were infatuated with each other from the very first sight. I would love to do a story based off of their love story. The way that Sita described Rama after seeing him, and in turn the way Rama described Sita was beautifully poetic. (I love Rama's description of Sita on page 25, ah- my heart...) They were caught up just on one another's features and Sita was practically love sick that she may never see him again.

Have you ever walked past a stranger and made eye contact for just a fraction of a second and maybe shared a smile? Well I feel like those moments can be the sweetest and the most bitter because you may never see that person again. I, being the hopeless romantic that I am, hate it when I have an encounter like that with a stranger and realize I just let them walk into and out of my life in like ten seconds. And then of course I'm left wondering "if I would have said something would that person have ended up as a significant part of my life?" DID I JUST MISS OUT ON LOVE?! Cupid, where you at when I need ya? Shoot them arrows boy. Rama and Sita's love story could have ended up this way, with them just missing their chance. But luckily for them- fate was on their side. 

I really haven't had much time to brainstorm how I could alter this story to make it my own but I feel like the possibilities could be endless. Since animals are also such a big passion of mine, I could change Rama and Sita into animals and tell it from a different perspective? Though I feel like I would really like to take time and think out of the box for what direction I would like to take my story. 

As the week goes on I will for sure be thinking about Sita and Rama's story and I hope I can come up with a unique way to make it my own. 

Narayan's Ramayana, link to Reading Guide A.